My own World

2010-12-12T15:01:00.002+08:00

Just when I thought there's nothing left for me to reminisce, I found a notebook.

I almost forgotten how much I loved you.

I almost forgotten those lonely and painful Valentines.

And there's a sudden ache in my heart.

2010-12-09T16:35:00.000+08:00

Silly Boy,

You were worried that you will fall down while walking, so you thought you would be safe if Mummy carry you.

But there’s one thing you don’t know, your mummy is one clumsy pig too.

But, with you in my hand, I will make sure that you are safe.

Thanks for trusting Mummy with no doubt at all.

2010-11-19T10:59:00.002+08:00

I'm just coming 24.

Seems so young, yet I feel so old.

I am a daughter, a wife, a daughter in law.

Most importantly, a mother.

I'm only 24, yet I'm the center of so many people's life.

Gosh...I feel so much older.

2010-11-10T08:52:00.002+08:00

Almost 2 years.

And I almost forget my old self.

Till I started reading my old blog posts again.

It's unbelieveable how much I changed in 2 years.

And it's so amazing how much my loved ones went through with me.

2008-12-26T13:47:00.002+08:00

Long long time since I last Blogged.

I finally have some free time to myself after so long now that Dawson is sleeping soundly now and TOA is nice to give staff Boxing Day off =)

Has Xmas celebration 2 days ago with the dearest gers. I had forgotten how fun it could be to be with them till then. And I miss the guys so terribly too. Though I missed my little prince a lot, being with the gers made me feel that I have all the support in the world. Including the one who is not here, I miss you even more. Please do take care of yourself. When you come back. Dawson should be big enough to go shopping with us.

Life's been good Michelle, thanks. I hope things has been good for you too. And Frazer is going to Kindergarden soon???

Work's fine. Just that everywhere you go, you're bound to meet silly people. Married life, it's been good but with lot's of arguement over trivial matters. Darling signed up for ACCA, starting school next year.

And before you guys cant wait to hop over to Dawson's site. Here's a sneak preview for you.

2008-09-06T23:15:00.001+08:00

It's another year past for me, today, on the 6th Sep. A rare day where I finally can get some quiet moment to myself. Dawson's out in the living room in my sembawang home in his hammock, hubby's out with his BMT friends and family watching a movie that I remember the story too clearly to watch again.

Rainy days always make me feel melancholy. There's just something sad abt it that I cant explain.

I remember things exactly 9 years ago, I remember things exactly 8 months ago. It's been nearly a decade. Sounded so long, yet it whizzed past like it was just yesterday. Yet, so much had changed. I realised how real some old sayings are.

When you finally realise that it was just infatuation, you can no longer walk out of it. Maybe it's you who made me feel that the love we had was infatuation, I used to believe that it's love. But when the words came out from my mouth, I realise that the love was never reprocicated. Cos you will never see the good in me, no matter how hard I try. You can never forget the past. It's too late anyway.

At the last hour of 6th Sep 2008, I gave up, with just a single tear dropped. Cos I know that it's over. Cos I know that I had tried hard enough.

2008-08-27T23:37:00.006+08:00

been working for 3 weeks since. nothing much abt it, just normal easy routine task, just need to pay a lot of attention to details, something that the careless me is trying to cultivate.

It's tiring having to work and pamper Dawson when i return home. But knowing that he need me and seeing his smile made me feel that it's all worth it. I heard him laugh, it's the first time that he did so, I dunno why, but i suddenly feel like tearing. Finally life's getting better.

I miss my friends, those who had given me support through these 9 months, I can never imagine life without them. And I just want to hug my c9 and tell them that i love them. You guys can never imagine what those things that you all had done for me mean, even when you guys think that it's nothing much. They just made me feel that I am never alone.

Smelling better life, i feel that the world is wonderful. With little Dawson and lovely sisters and wonderful parents. And a hubby whom I had a love-hate relationship with.

Suddenly the fact that I am in a job that bring me little satisfaction doesn't matter any longer. Cos everything else is so perfect.

And I just update Dawson's blog too.

2008-08-13T22:07:00.002+08:00

And I found a job, I'm surprised that I got one so fast, though it's not my ideal job, the pay's good, the hours' short and Dawson needs milk powder....so i decided to take it. Started work on 8th Aug 08, the 888 day.

Slowly adapting to working life again, though I misses my son so veri much that i looked at his picture at least 5 times a day. Cant get my hands off him the moment that i got home. Dawson is also trying to get used to life without his mum, esp when his dad is nt ard as well. I think I changed so much after being a mum, i actualli cant bear to go out to work every morning and literally brisk walked home after work so that i can see my son asap.

Gained so much weight after birth so I got to buy new clothes for work. My mum says it needs time. it had been 1 month, nearly 2 since i gave birth.

not much time for myself and darling since i started working. Dawson is demanding. But I'm glad that Dawson is loved by both of us, veri much.

that's abt it for my life now. it's just family and work for now. shall update more soon.

2008-07-15T11:27:00.002+08:00

Still surviving well and good after being a mum for nearly 4 weeks. Sleep deprivation has gradually became part of my life. But seeing him grow day by day I think it's more than worth it.

To all, please visit this webby,

http://www.baby-liang.blogspot.com

2008-06-04T13:51:00.003+08:00

Yee!!! Just realised that c6's blog is alive again, therefore I got to link her back. She's the first (and onli) ah yi to feel Baby Liang move.

Dinner with them on Mon, actualli wanted to take pic, since I will be over bulging tummy soon, but everyone seems to be in lousy condition, so none was taken. I miss time spent with them but I doubt I am able to run ard much anymore before july. I never feel unlucky cos I have the gers with me.

I wished I could see Hua's baby face to face but my mil forbidded me to due to pantang reasons more for her baby rather for me. Washing the little mittens and clothes made me smile to myself for no reason. Feeling the waves in my tummy when he move made me excited and wonder what he's doing inside. I know Hua felt the same way too. It's something that can never be felt until it happened. i wonder how she felt when she first saw her baby, must be overwhelmed.

Being a young mother is never easy, but i know he's worth it. Will update again, soon i hope.

2008-05-31T10:55:00.003+08:00

Little things make me happy;

Shirl called me on her mobile though it's gonna cost her a bomb.

Dinner with the gers on mon. Yee!!! I always love to spend time with them.

Staying over at my place tml! Double Yee!!!

I lost 150g off my weight after using the formula:
overall weight gain - weight gain of Baby Liang

This is such a beautiful gloomy saturday morning. I hope the weather stays this way for the rest of the day.

It's another 3-4 weeks to the highly anticipated arrival of YOU!!!

2008-05-12T15:04:00.003+08:00

Love is amazing. The love of a mother.

I love mine, cos I think she's the most perfect mother in the whole wide world.

She is short and chubby and worst, she passed on the genes to me.
She is quick-tempered and whiney, and she passed it on to me too.

But I hope I can be like her.
She loved me even before I was born.
She can bring home money yet take care of the family.
She knows when I'm unhappy though I didnt show.
She took care of financial matters perfectly.
She loves to save money though there isnt much for her to.
She cooked fish and veggie for me even when she's exhausted.

Don't compare, she told me. But I cant help it. I cant understand how mums can be so different.

Happy Mother's Day to the only wonderwoman left in the world.

2008-05-05T16:00:00.006+08:00

MIA-ing from beloved all, but trust me, i do miss you guys.

Good luck to mt's examination.
Wondering how wanting's new job.
Thinking if caiwen's sis is feeling better.
Pauline, jiayou in ur classes and tutorials.
Kaiqi, attachment ending soon, complete ur log book.
Yan, I miss you and enjoy ur last year there.
Angie, wish you could rub my tummy too.
Shirl, I have the feeling that you can meet me in KKH on 17/6.

For the DS whom I had not met for ages,

how's rene at work with project
how's dianna and andy going on
how's hua doing at home awaiting birth
how's rong 's flat shopping going on

Finally a gloomy day after so many days of the killer sun. Still tanned after East Coast Park outing with family on Labour Day. I thought it's comical to see myself with bulging tummy and the favourite pink shades. But I did not take any pic, I dun wanna leave myself ugly memories.

I love gloomy days, I can be emo then. I love having my thoughts run wild over all places. Thinking about the future, imagining times spent with baby and the honeymoon that hubby promised me, cringing at the thought of the pain during labour, thinking of baby's little hands and feet. It's amazing how being a mum can change ur life. You can think of nothing except him.

On days like this, I just wish you were ard with me, no matter where.

2008-04-18T02:39:00.004+08:00

It has been hubby's block leave ever since the last update. Been spending tons of couple time to everywhere nowhere. Life had been blissful lazing in bed till the late morning, solving professor layton's puzzles and waking up in the middle of the night to get him to leave his game for the bed.

Went to National library where I finished all the available Motherhood magazines while he tried to refresh his memory of what he had learnt in poly. And then there's Meiting birthday where we had super nice dinner and dessert. It always feel great to be with the gers. I often wonder how could 9 gers of such different personalities formed such a deep relationship.

Shopping for baby is always fulfilling yet extravagant. I guess this is the onli situation when guys act like girls, you know, buying more than intended and end up exceeding the budget. Yet I think the only difference is that you will not feel the pinch of overspending. Went everywhere to get the best deal, John Little expo sales, kiddy palace pigeon sales, Baby hypermart, baby kingdom...bla bla bla...Yee!!! And now we're nearly done.

Met up with rene at NYP to catch up. So much had changed, it reminded us that, it had been 5 years since we stepped into that place where I met my love. it feels great to be out in the fresh air all day long!!!

And the best thing, ppl in Aussie listen up....

GST OFFSET PACKAGE IS HERE!!! It will be deposit into the

designated account on the 30th Apr 2008!!!

Please do register for it if you have not already.

And what made me more happy than that is the irritating invaders will not be recieving any of it. hehehe~~~Yee!!!

2008-04-01T01:16:00.000+08:00

Yee!!! Back at Tampines home for a couple of days. Have been enjoying the company of dear hubby even with minor squabbles here and there. But did not slp well for the first night back, baby's been super excited hearing dad's voice after so long and yes angie, with bigger and bigger tummy, heartburn and discomfort and frequent urinations is contributing to restless nights. I hope Hua is feeling better than me.

Busy 2 days accompanying in-laws, plucking beansprout shells for baby's pillow and preparing for qing ming, tired tired and tired. But it's sweet to have a husband who is willing to satisfy my cravings. Been thinking of names for baby, really excited waiting for july. Yee!!!

It's always sweet to have caring hubby, family and friends. And i love the dream that I had last night.

2008-03-24T01:25:00.000+08:00

It has been a long long stay back home since last saturday. Enjoyed lots of love from family and friends. Positive atmosphere, wonderful people plus plenty of food. Yee!!! Home is always good. I could never get enough of family bonding time and mahjong-cum-chatting session with my loves.

On the down side, I got to spend so little time with hubby. I guess, maybe it's true, marriage is the graveyard of love. Eventually it dies down to responsibility and the family that was formed, it's no longer the love the binds the marriage. I looked at old couples holding hands and smiling lovingly at each other. I wonder if I could get to enjoy this bliss in the future. Uncertainties increase as I realised that I could never be on par with her. No matter how hard I try, how much effort i put in. I am just dominating, controlling and unreasonable. I am somewhat tired of trying. I think let's just let nature takes its course.

Do you believe a love could run so strong?
Do you believe a love could pass you by?
There was no special one for me
I was the lonely one, you see
But then my heart lost all control
Now you're all that I know

-Chicago (Will you still love me)

2008-03-14T05:01:00.000+08:00

I have a love-hate relationship with rainy days like this. It's always nice to cuddle under the blanket yet it's so troublesome to go out with an umbrella. I'm stucked at home with my hubby who's wasting his off-days away. When 2 very bored people come together, you'll get lots of whining, lame jokes and silly acts.

I miss k-box session with the gers, but baby liang is kicking every day and night even with the least bit of noise and I cant imagine what moves will come up in that small room with shao and his andy lau imitation. We figure that it must be the excessive soccer matches that i've been watching with the father.

Random random post on a boring day, just to let you gers know that i'm fine at home with lots of viwawa. And you guys are veri missed.

2008-03-03T15:21:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I forgot that I'm married, or rather we're married. My mind never stopped wandering, never stop thinking, never stop thinking of the endless possibilities.

Sometimes, these "maybe"are good, but more often than not, they made me less patient, more guilty, more irritable and less adorable. I know it hurted you. But I cant help it. The book gave a million and one excuses for this devil side of me; mood swings, hormonal changes, discomfort etc etc. But I know it's just me. I need to be more forgiving, more tolerance and less petty.

I am angry with myself, so helpless, so dependent, so tired, so cooped up. I hope that this phase will pass soon and we will find everything worth it.

And I can tell you how much you mean to me, from the bottom of my heart.

2008-02-19T03:31:00.001+08:00

Happy Belated Valentines' and Super Belated Chinese New Year. Amazingly, 3 weeks just zoomed by and so much had happened.

This is my first year giving out "angpows". I thought it's pretty good to be able to give blessings and wishes to relatives and friends. I hope all goes well for them.

I quitted my job le, not in a amicable way, but I'm glad I got out of it. Though I think he's such a jerk, I have a feeling that he's suffering from depression due to the high stress tat he's facing. I dun blame him. I realli just hope that he dun end up like Andrew. Feel that after I'm pregnant, I learn to look at things with an open mind and I dun lose my cool so easily anymore. On the other hand, my mum and hubby seemed to be more agitated and even want my dad to drive me down to give him a thrashing or something. Haha~~ but I feel loved by everyone.

===============================================

This is the first year that I went house visiting with hubby's side. I think I'm too tired from all the travelling, plus a bit of mood swing, I started crying due to fatigue on the first day of CNY. Thinking back, I found it amusing. And it's to my side and friends' side for the next few days. I miss C9 badly. It always feels good to be surrounded by them, they never failed to make my day. It's mostly credited to them that I made it so far.

This chinese new year is a season of love for me.

================================================

First Valentine's since I got married. I realised tat bliss can be simple. It's the effort that he put in with whatever little he had to make it an event. Suddenly, weekday afternoon movie and yucky dinner at food court seemed like the happiest things ever. Even though we only got a short 4 hours of private time, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

Looking at him, I was amazed at how much a person can give for the ones he loves.

It's even more amazing to be in love even before first sight. And it's a selfless kind of love that we put in without compromising.

=================================================

And I love them all. Thanks for everything.

2008-01-31T04:07:00.000+08:00

Recently work had been slack and I am so super free at home. Thought abt a lot of things, starting to become more and more worried.

The normal weight gain for pregnancy is abt 1kg in the first trimester and subsequently 400g per week for the second trimester, given that I was in the normal BMI range before pregnancy. So by right, I should have gained like at least 3kg till now, but I had gained zero weight since though my tummy is getting bigger. I am not sure if the weight I lost due to vomitting and gained back after that counts as weight gain but I doubt so.

I am eating like super a lot but I dunno where those food goes. I am not sure if it's the second hand smoke that I took in or the stress of adapting to a new life that I'm facing. Or is it because I dun have constipation problem like most preggies. But now I am just more stressed up now with ppl keep saying that my tummy is not obvious and I've not grown fatter.

Isnt tat an irony? When I was normal I kept fearing abt weight gain, now I just want to gain weight. Haizz~~ There is a lot of risks that might be faced if there isn't sufficient weight gain, I realised, after surfing the net for an answer to my lack of weight gain.

Let's just hope that I will grow fat soon. *Praying hard*

2008-01-22T08:21:00.000+08:00

Exactly 2 weeks since I got married. Life had been routine and peaceful. I guess it's good though it's boring. I am feeling more and more drained of energy since i got married. I am not sure why too. Maybe it's the work-at-home job that kept me jailed in my new home, maybe it' s the weariness of carrying a new life, maybe I am just home/sembawang-sick.

It's never the same and it can never be the same. I cant go to the library as and when I like now. Even an additional 5 minute walk to the MRT station seemed so tedious, and I cant go back home in the wee hours of the morning anymore.

I hate it when people dun say outright what they feel and go one big round to convey their thoughts. I hate it when I got scolded early in the morning for not picking up my boss's call because the phone is unable to get a reception in some parts of my new room. I hate it when I cant lie down on the bed as and when I want. I hate it when I got no mum and dad to nag at me.

I never realised how HOMESICK I was till I went home for the weekend. I always tot I am only missing home. But it's more than that, much more than that.

I hate to remember how happy my father was when I went home, how my mum cooked and cooked without any complaint and how my sister tried to get my attention when she was leaving home for work while I was sleeping. They just made me remember how far away I am from them now and how much I miss them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM, I love you.

2008-01-11T06:48:00.000+08:00

Alright, I'm officially married. I think getting married is about the most tiring process in the world.

The tea ceremony is taxing, having to wake up in early morning and lasting throughout the day, worse, having to remove the thick makeup and hardened hairspray after the whole ordeal when you were so super sure you could just fall asleep standing.

The wedding banquet is not much better, a smile plastered on throughout the night till my jaw hurted. You reached home in the wee hours of the night and the same tedious process of removing the makeup comes again. Arghzz!!! I can feel my skin dying after 2 days of blocked pores.

Post marriage life, it sure was much better than pre-marriage life, or at least for the past 3 days. Hubby and MIL had been nice to me, MIL too nice in fact. FIL is seldom home and BIL had been in camp since. Bed is comfy though air-con is noisy. But so far so good.

For those who are worrying, dun be k? I'm good and really well. For those who were hoping the worst for me, too bad!!! Blahzz!!!

PS: Darling's ex msged him congrats, I wonder why I did not get one from my ex. Blahzz!!!

2007-12-18T14:06:00.000+08:00

Wedding is in less than 3 weeks' time. It's amazing how time flies!!! I am so looking forward to getting the completed photo album and the wall picture, even more than the wedding itself. I got to admit that I felt a bit obliged to have to wake up so early on that special day and that I might have to go through the day with eyebags bla bla bla...

But...I hate to admit to Mr Neo, I am getting rather excited about the whole thing, especially what the jie-meis are going to do to him. Yee!!!

Went for food tasting the other day, the portion of food was huge and I can picture the whole bowl of sharkfin devoured by shao, gene and zhao in that table of anti-sharkfin C9.

Now it's left with the hard work, angpow boxes, emcee script(the one that the restaurant gave me was damn cheesy and distasteful) and bla bla bla, I hope it's as easy as I thought, else I would just accept being ripped off by this webby that I found. ARgh!!!

But right now I am so looking forward to Xmas bbq!!! Yee!!! I felt so loved by everyone right now, except for my big bully stingy liar hubby though he's starting to love me more.

2007-12-10T07:11:00.000+08:00

Gloomy sunday.

I woke up feeling glum and unhappy. Or maybe I fell asleep feeling sad. Maybe I had dreams that I had forgotten through the night. No matter what, I dun like this feeling.

Don't you know love, when I am the irritating me who keeps bugging you about how insecure and unloved I'm feeling, I was holding the hope that things would get better. I was praying hard that you will understand my feelings and do something really soon.

When I became obliging and stopped all the bugging, It's not because I had felt better. It's because I was too heartbroken to say anything more, knowing the you will never try to understand or do anything to ease my fears and uncertainties.

No, I dun think you ever knew, do you? Because you were just too glad to be left in peace, finally, just too happy that I am no longer grouchy and naggy, as you thought so.

I tried, I really tried, to be a nice sweetie pie and all, knowing that my mood swing was getting too much. But why is it that we just cant be nice to each other at the same time. You asked, why is it that I just cant wait to be married happily. I asked myself, why dun I deserved to be a pampered and loved mum-to-be.

I'm hurting inside, madly, can you feel it, the baby is feeling it, he/she knew it, I think that's why he/she tried to make it better by saving me the morning sickness. I guess that's his/her way of loving me.

You said you love me, but I can no longer understand the way you love me. Make me understand. I really want to.

2007-12-05T01:29:00.000+08:00

Random random...

Let's see, what've I been doing since my birthday. Dinner, shopping, dinner, shopping with Piggie's mum, shopping again, checkup, photoshoot, quarrel and finally, resting. Phew!!! eventful week and I feel like i had shopped more than half my life for the last week.

Yes!!! And everything is more or less confirmed. Like finally. After numerous busy weekends and more of it to come. I felt so bad that I cant invite many of my friends due to limited seats, But haizzz..what to do when i have a big big family.

Mood swing's getting better this week (10th week) and I hope the rest of the uncomfortable bits follow suit. Yee!!! And I'm still feeling sleepy, like every single day. I can sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon and slp at 11pm at night again. But I wake up early, like 8.30am today.

I cant wait for tonight's dinner, Angie's birthday and Xmas celebration. Yee!!! I wanna play and play before I stop becoming a bachelorette!!!

2007-11-27T05:30:00.000+08:00

I'm touched by you. It's surprising how much you can give in to me even when I'm unreasonable and being such a bitch. Poor thing, am I giving you more stress than you were already facing? I hate the hormones changes and how you were eventually made the one and only victim of all the drama.

I cant imagine you still wanting to spend the rest of your life with me. You must be the guardian angel that God had sent me. Yes I trust you would try your best. I trust you with everything that I am. Yet, I just don't know why, sometimes I can be so sure yet on other bad days, I just felt so jittery all over again.

Stop saying that you love me even when I'm wallowing and wailing for the slightest reasons. Stop saying that you dun mind fetching milk and water and watsoever for me no matter what. I know you mean them, but they just made me feel that I suck.

Today I turned 21, it's an emotional happy birthday to myself.

2007-11-20T14:58:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm...my exam was long over. and I'm yet into my job search.

These few weeks, had been busy, though nothing productive had been done, till today.

I should just say that my life had been sort of overturned since the last post, so much had happened, yet everything whizzed past like a nightmare. I am not sure if all that happened are good, but at least that's the path that I had chosen to take. I will have to bear with the consequences no matter what might happen eventually.

So much tears shed, so many wishes and thrills. But things are happening so fast that I feel that everything is so unreal, up till today.

So much so that I vaguely remember things that happened, shao's birthday, zhao's birthday (that I did not attend), Dianna and Rong's birthday and Hua's birthday which I mixed up the date. My memory seemed to be failing me.

All that's happening is making me so insensitive to other's feeling, others who cared for me. Then again, isn't the route that I've chosen hurting so many ppl and making even more of these worried for me.

All I can do is to convince myself that I had taken the right path and this is the right thing to do.

2007-10-30T12:33:00.000+08:00

In the midst of my exam period. 2 papers had passed, another 2 more to go on coming wed and next monday. that explains why I'm so MIA.

It's the last 2 days that I'm going to see the people in my class. I think I am kinda going to miss the lifestyle. I see people in my class talking and smiling more to one another.

Those who used to return a nod when I used to smile at them actually wished me "Good Luck" today. One of the acquaintances that I made in class started chatting with me today and we exchanged number. It's amazing how much intiative one can take when there's a limitation of time. There is so many people that I want to befriend yet I have so little courage.

And it's 2 more days to my learning journey. Been thinking, if there were anything that I would want to start all over again in my 17 odd years of studying life. And I thought of a few, but it's too late.

Then again, everything happens for a reason, isn't it not.

2007-10-07T03:12:00.000+08:00

They say that when you dream about something, it means that you've gotten over it and is ready to move on. If that's true, I think I had let go of a lot of things during this one week of "doing nothing productive".

Besides dreaming of a lot of school-related scenerio, I was faced with a lot of weird and unrealistic scenes too.

Had an intensive dreaming session last night. In the dream, I was running to and fro and there were so many PAST characters in my life who took a role in one way or another. One particular character, I remember, he did something which hurted me a lot, but I guess, subconciously I knew this is what will happen in real life when faced with the same scenerio. My dream had shown me the reality.

I woke up with aches all over my body and a tingling pain in my heart, it went away after a while, but the burden that was lifted did not return either.

2007-09-29T05:10:00.000+08:00

And that's the last of my education (if all go well *pray*). My LAST day of school and LAST project deadline was yesterday. Now it's all exam and then graduation. Mixed feelings about it. But, well, gotta start planning for my future.

Been into this 4.30pm show on Channel 8 recently, it's an "auntie" show, but I like!!! It's called 意难忘 and there are plenty of nice hokkien songs in it.

Like this one here....

It's a wonder how taiwanese drama can last so long and yet ppl never get sick of it, ulike the ones in sg where ppl cant wait for it to end when it's only the 49th episode. The show is currently in its (370+++)the episode and it's only going to end after 500.

Back to the school thingy, I think I am kind of going to miss the lectures and snacks in SIM, not forgetting some of those cute lecturers and the daily fashion show that was put up by the girls.

I remember how pale in comparison I was to them, clad in my shorts and tee. But I enjoy looking at them more than the guys, though there are really cute ones!!!

While I'm super free now before I start my revisions, Gers, I just wait for you guys to date me when you guys are free, know how busy you all are. But I have the HAIRSPRAY OST!!! If that can wait then I can wait!!! Blahzz!!! =)

2007-09-17T05:45:00.000+08:00

And I thought I had lost interest in blogging for a while, then I realised, it's just that there's nothing to blog about in my mudane life.

The last 2 weeks of my final semester is approaching, and I am still so not ready for work. Project stress is going down, but the unpredictability out there is taking over the load. I picture myself in a company that I love and enjoying a acceptable pay. But I know how hard I would have to fight for the vision to really take place.

Exam is 6 weeks away, and I suddenly feel this semester passes so fast.

I dunno whether or not it's a good thing, knowing that you can make it through the final semester of your exam if you try hard enough. I wanna get through my exam smoothly and yet I dun wanna work because I have to.

Confused rantings on a rainy, gloomy sunday....

2007-09-05T09:06:00.000+08:00

I guess it's time to come back to my bloggie.

Haven been updating recently, Dun worry folks, still well and alive, and sorrie to those who are disappointed.

Had my finance test today, I think it's pretty ok, just that there is too much theory questions that I did not study for, but I suppose I should make it through.

In an emo mood again, I hate this things that happened every month. And I really hate to lose temper at my loved ones, but the hormones are horrible, they made me lose patience and become irritable so easily. But I guess I got to practise more self-control.

Well, besides projects and more projects, I guess nothing much happened. the amount of time I got detained in sch is making me super hot-tempered, grouchy and cranky. I guess the saggitarius trait of me is coming out, I serious cant be locked in a place for too long a day, I will go insane.

Love, is it all about controlling a person's friends, life and even the place he wanna be in? I thought there got to be more freedom and space than that.

2007-08-21T10:29:00.000+08:00

I board the train with a heavy heart. It's so crowded, as usual.

I was tired after a long day of work and the tot of having to stand all the way to sembawang from orchard makes me even more tired.

When the train reached Newton, this man stood up and let me have his seat. Though I refused politely, he insisted and start to move away from his seat. Gladly, I accepted his kind gesture and sat down, relieved.

As I started to feel more comfortable in my seat, a thought suddenly struck me. Do I look pregnant to him? Feeling desperately depressed, I swore to myself that it's time I start exercising again.

Just as I was sinking in despair, the person beside me alight and I looked at the man, thinking that he might want the seat. Instead of sitting down, he looked at a middle-aged lady and gave her the seat.

It's nice. He was just being a gentleman and giving up his seat to the ladies. I happily affirmed that I dun look pregnant. Our eyes met and I flashed him a megawatt smile, thinking to myself, how nice it is to be treated like a lady, for once, by a stranger.

And no, he is not a chinese or an englishman, if you are thinking so. And I dun think he's a singaporean.

As he finally took a seat after noticing that all the females ard him had had a seat, he took out a stack of his belonging from his shirt pocket. He has no wallet and his cards were disorganized in a small pile. And from in between the stack, I saw a single 5 dollar note and nothing else similar.

When I reached sembawang, I gave him a grateful smile and handed him a sweet. He made my day and I hope I've made his too.

2007-08-18T13:37:00.000+08:00

Argh!!! I cant wait for this 2 months to pass. Seriously, I am so sick of project meetings that lasted till so late that I can see what snacks the part-time students were having. I think meetings this sem is so not productive and time-consuming. I dunno if that's the problem with the module or the people.

The guidelines were so vague and any help sought were like so unwelcomed and the people were so keeping a close mind and too angry to absorb what others were saying. Others were too engrossed in their own topic that they were there but not THERE. I was too frustrated with the situation and lack of work done that I had lost motivation to continue cracking my brain. Totally Stumped!!! Now I just wanna go on finishing all these project and hope to stay less in sch for the next 6 weeks or so. ARGHZZZ!!!

And I'm so glad that the next 2 days will be my last days working. Arghzz!!!! Cant wait for the end of next week to come. I wish there's this angel who can come and save me from all the anguish and depression.

2007-08-14T14:40:00.000+08:00

I must have enjoyed myself too much that I'm hit in the face by the cruel reality now.

Here I am trying to finish my project with running nose, puffy eyes and tons of sneezing, all just cos I really badly wanna watch the Jay Chou movie tonight. I think it must has been the super cold air-com in sch and the super hot weather outside and the lack of slp that I had for the last few days. Blahzz!!! I so dun like the feeling of having a flu.

I wished my life were more interesting than trying to meet deadline. and seriously, I am so glad that this coming weekend would be my last week with Olay. Yee!!!

2007-08-08T13:33:00.000+08:00

You know, emotions was not an once off happening due to one situation.

It is the gradual and painful buildup after countless hurtful comments and stabs that were left unattended. How many times have you noticed me pretending that all is over the next day, after getting thru the previous night with tears that you never did understand or even make an attempt too before?

I was waiting for you, love, to attend to the wounds. But it never happened. It seems that anything not mentioned is a matter of the past. And the wound got deeper and deeper each day with yet another one of those nights.

Sometimes it was a deep stab, sometime it was a prick. And come one day, I realised that it doesnt matter anymore. The wound is such that any contact with it comes with intense pain. It even hurted so when you tried to stroke it.

I cringed thinking of how that one gentle stroke is going to end soon and more pricking and stabbing will come soon, causing yet another wound that would be deemed too minor to take notice of.

2007-07-31T13:50:00.000+08:00

I thought this is pretty interesting...

40 secrets about yourself.be honest no matter what.

[one] what is your natural hair color?
[honestly] Black

[two] where is your default picture on myspace taken?
[honestly] No myspace account. blog pic taken at Piggie's place

[three] what's your middle name?
[honestly] A lot ...which one...

[four] your current relationship status?
[honestly] attached and in love

[five] does your crush like you back?
[honestly] I think he loves me...

[six] what is your current mood?
[honestly] Tired and bored and frustrated

[seven] what colour underwear are you wearing?
[honestly] let me check...pink

[eight] what makes you happy?
[honestly] for now...understand wth is in glo-bus

[ten] if you could go back in time and change something, what you would change?
[honestly] some situations could have been dealed with in a more tactful way

[eleven] if you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
[honestly] cockroach...so that I can scare Piggie

[twelve] ever had a near death experience?
[honestly] yes.. 6yr old, I tried eating tissue to commit suicide

[thirteen] something you do a lot?
[honestly] sleeping...about 8 hours a day

[fourteen] the song stuck in your head?
[honestly] Walk Away by this Paula ger

[fifteen] who did you copy and paste this from?
[honestly] Rene and Dianna...

[sixteen] name someone with the same birthday as you?
[honestly] Like dun have....

[seventeen] when was the last time you cried?
[honestly] Sun afternoon at work...

[eighteen] have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
[honestly] yes.. in some silly competition during sec 2

[nineteen] if you could have one super power what would it be?
[honestly] never ever be absent-minded

[twenty] what's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
[honestly] the built of the guy

[twenty-one] what do you usually order from starbucks?
[honestly] cafe latte and frappucino

[twenty-two] what's your biggest secret?
[honestly] Hehehe~~Can you handle it...

[twenty-three] favorite colors?
[honestly] red, pink and current fad - green

[twenty-five] do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
[honestly] Yes!!! I love "Tom and Jerry"!!

[twenty-six] what are you eating or drinking at the moment?[
honestly] nothing.. I've brushed my teeth.

[twenty-seven] you speak any other language?
[honestly] Yee!!! Kulu!!! Argh!!!

[twenty-eight] what's your favorite smell?
[honestly] Natural Source's Sugarcane whipped cream.

[twenty-nine] if you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
[honestly] Eventful

[thirty] when was the last time you gave/received a hug?
[honestly] This morning when yiling was super pissed...

[thirty-one] have you ever kissed in the rain?
[honestly] I think I had...But I'm not sure when

[thirty-two] what are you thinking about right now?
[honestly] When did I kiss in the rain...

[thirty-three] what should you be doing?
[honestly] packing bag for tml's sch

[thirty-four] what was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
[honestly] when Piggie kept insisting that I go on hols in Aug

[thirty-five] how often do you pray?
[honestly] when I'm desperate...or worried

[thirty-six] do you like working in the yard?
[honestly] if it were a windy and fine day.

[thirty-seven] if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
[honestly] beckham...hehehe...$$

[thirty-eight] do you act differently around your crush?
[honestly] perhaps more whiney

[thirty-nine] name one song that reminds you of an ex?
[honestly] Shania Twain - From This moment On

[forty] who was the last person to make you cry?
[honestly] This little ger who got lost in Ngee Ann City...

2007-07-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

And after 2 hectic weeks, I'm back again.

been sick, got well, sick again now, hope it will get better tml.

Health has taken a toll on me recently. I hope I will be better.

Angeline's leaving again soon, and we joked about how we can play mahjong everytime we meet up after she goes back to Aussie. The no. of players would be just nice and possibly with an extra for backup purposes. Yee!!! Great, I love mahjong, if that is of any consolation.

And the damn timetable is changed, yet again.

I really dislike disorganized organizations and companies, be it work or sch.

Talk about how efficient Singapore is. Am feeling grumpy and emo these days.

But I love him for everything else besides the fact that he did not bring me to KL for a holiday.

2007-07-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

The sky's so gloomy and dull, I hope it will rain. The birds were getting so thirsty that they were not flying ard yesterday.

I saw them pecking at the grass, hoping to get a bit of juice from nowhere, but I doubt they were successful. And when birds are thirsty, they repetitively opened and closed their beaks just like what a fish out of the water will do. I felt so tempted to feed them with the bottle of chrysanthemum tea in my hands.

I hope it rains, so that I have a reason to wear my new jacket to sch. And so I would not have to endure with the horrible heat which had been causing me headache for the last 2 days.

2007-07-04T02:28:00.000+08:00

I seriously wonder what's with the world nowadays!!! I thought they really have little or no conscience at all!!!

The newpaper Headline:

CRUEL CRAWL - Jurong Granny Run over By Reversing Lorry, Driver doesnt say sorry, gives her $50 to see doc then drives off.

In Pain , She hobbles and crawls 400m to get home. SHe dies 3 weeks later.

I wonder how he is going to face up to his children as a father and the rest of the world as a man. And I really think that as a human, you should have helped an old lady up to see how she is, even if it were just fall, let alone RUN OVER. I serious think that rushing to deliver bread is not an excuse to make you feel better.

Reading about all these news, the one when foreign workers were made to live in public toilets, how a retarded and mute ger were raped pregnant (she's ard my age), and now this.

If these people had tried putting themselves in the victim's shoes. They are someone's daughters and children too. Inhuman faggots!!!

Argh!!!! And after venting my frustration, I am off to prepare for sch again.

And I hate it when pretty things dont last long.

2007-06-30T03:40:00.000+08:00

Shirl flew off last night, and the atmosphere was much better than when the other 2 went off. Shao commented that we were so getting used to the scene that less tears were falling. Maybe that's true, friends, one day we'll all be walking down different routes. But who would have expected that we would still be friends till now when we were in AISS.

I haven't been slping well the last few nights, late night outing on tue and horrible diarrhea on wed night, yesterday I had strange dreams and I woke up with so much sebums on my face, I dunno what happened.

Diarrhea's still dere, and I so dun feel like going to work today, and sat, and sun.

On a happier note, I got this yesterday morning, I am so happy that I wanna tell the whole world!!! Yee!!!

And I got to recieve it in unkempt hair and unwashed face. The man must be thinking what's up with the guy to give flowers to this kind of ger. Blahzzz!!!

I love Sunflowers!!! It's my fifth love after chocolates and rocky road ice-cream and butterflies and heart-shaped stuffs!!!

I hate rain when I got to go for work!!!

2007-06-28T12:26:00.000+08:00

And after the oldies' K-Box session last night with the gers, I really thought that I should make all of them listen to the song though I couldn't managed to hit all the notes correctly.

But this is super nice and touching, nearly teared when I listened to it the first time.

WANG DA WEI - NI(3) BA(2) WO(3) GUAN(4) CUI(4)

And I think I'm gonna miss her so much, and miss her too. And her soon. Argh!!! Feel like my group of friends are so shrinking, and I really dun like it. Blahzz!!!

2007-06-24T03:18:00.000+08:00

got a new job with Olay as a "beauty advisor", but they are just trying to make a promoter job sounds good. But it's ok, it's a highly-paid promoting job. I thought selling's where my forte lies. Am glad to go back to my comfort zone now tt Piggie is on deployment and I dun need an office job.
And ya, super out-dated pic!!!

And I saw this really interesting pair of father and daughter...

That's it, mopping floor and going out soon!!! Yee!!!

2007-06-21T06:26:00.000+08:00

I want him to pass this time.

Not so much for myself. Because I know how bad he would felt if he don't. It hurts whenever he feel inferior and suffer from yet another round of low self-esteem.

I dont want him to feel bad about himself, cos to me, he's the one and only.

2007-06-13T04:11:00.000+08:00

Another week had since passed. And so much stuffs had happened. And life just started on the 6th of June after I got the results for my exam. Having to worry about results constantly is just not the thing that I want.

I thought SIM coordination is really bad.

We are starting sch on the 2nd of July and the timetable is not even out yet. Thank god I'm not going to Indonesia and the booking for the JB tour had not been done yet. They did not even have a academic table to indicate when the start of the sem is. I'm really glad that I called and asked about it. Blahzz!!

And after encouraging us to pay the bill before the GST hike in July, I have yet to recieve any invoice from them. I wonder what those staff were doing when we were having our breaks since exam ended. To make things worse, the person in charge of the sending out of invoice is the only person who knew what was going on.

And all for the rumbling abt the pricey school fees with little efficiency and effectiveness.

Tendered my resignation, and thank god I did that earlier, if not I would be stucked in the worst situation of making the decision of going to sch or turning up for work. Arghzz!!!

My last day is on the 22nd, and after which I think I would really need to spend much much less. But I guess I really need to chiong for the last sem. Cant believe that I will be starting to work end of this year. I hope I can be in my preferred company.

And due to my laziness, zoo pic has yet to be updated. Will be doing it soon.

And I thought I am super grumpy today.

2007-06-05T08:50:00.000+08:00

After so long of procrastinating, I had finally changed my blogskin!!! Yee!!! No more purple skins for those who hated purple. This is so colorful and have a lot of butterflies, I love it!!!

Spent the day trying to peel off the paint on my gate that had been thickened after layer and layer of repaint. When it was rid of its color, the rusting and staining was revealed. It was back to square one, nothing to cover its ugliness with. All that was left, was its trueself. Not that it had chosen to hide its trueself. People made it do so. When its trueself finally emerged, people will covered it up with color, yet again.

I wanted to leave it as it is, but mum said, the purpose of getting rid of the color is so that we can put on a new layer more easily.

When someone opened up herself to you, will you accept her for who she is, or will you try to change her to what you wanted her to be?

2007-06-03T14:34:00.000+08:00

One week had passed, and this is a more fruitful week. I met up with rene, like finally. And I also met meiting finally, with others of course. Work is fine as yet, But it could be better if ppl dun give me the wrong spelling of a company and expect me to find info abt it.

I bought a lala skirt from WH and I am trying to match it with something nice. I need to get new earrings too since I found myself to be super allergy to "cheap" ones recently, as in those non 925 silver earrings. I NEED TO SHOP!!!

Practised driving on my dad's car and I think that when you are a new driver, the type of car that you are driving really makes a difference. I cant seemed to use the right amount of strength for the accelerator and change gear at the right time and right speed. I think I still need some practices before my father will feel at ease letting me have the car. Mum said that sitting in the car that I'm driving gave her hypertension and sis claimed that the train is more efficient than me. Well~~whatever!!! Blahzz!!!

Quote of the day~

Dun keep thinking that u had failed ur TP. Take it that you are spending more time and money, so that you have more practices, and can better ensure the safety of your loved ones in the future.

2007-05-27T16:20:00.000+08:00

Happy!!! Yippee!!!
Cos I finally passed my TP with 14 points.
Third attempt, but I am glad that it's finally over. I hope my friends who are taking the test will pass soon. I understand the financial burden that taking driving lesson can be. Yee!!!

I just hope that I can get thru my exam smoothly when I get my result so that I can enjoy the rest of my hols without any fear. *Praying hard*

Sad =.. (

It really hurts when someone you cared for did not wanna share your joys and ignored your msges and phonecalls. I dunno what caused your hibernation again. I just hope that you are fine and well.

And I think the feeling sucked even more when someone kept breaking the promises that was made. I wonder what's so hard.

PS: I love the feeling of having poles of laundry out drying when the sun was shining brightly and mercilessly.

2007-05-24T07:42:00.000+08:00

The last two days were an emotional roller coaster ride.

I hate it when the boss think that you are always ready for OT and give you ridiculous amount of work to complete at 5.30pm and expect you to complete it at the end of the day.

I hate it when they know about the the event ages ago and only give us the tons of materials to prepare the day before at 4 pm.

I hate it when they are just such "ivory towers" and know not how to do the things that they commanded.

I hate it when they brought work from home for us when it's already impossible to complete what was in the office.

Someday, I'll be the one that they are happily chatting on the phone with while theit staff was slogging away.

One day, I'm gonna be their client and make things impossible for them.

And you see I am such a bitch to put the above stuffs in "hard to read" color, just in case they chanced upon my blog, I still need the job for another month.

enough about work...

experienced this before??? This woman sitting beside you have super long and frizzy and dirty and dry hair, and she let it down. She was sitting next to you in a train and she started talking with exaggerated body languages and flinging her hair too and fro. I feel like killing her and I can imagine all the flies and germs in the air and stuffs. call me a snob, but I just cant stand body odours and dirty hairs. if you had such a hair texture, not that I had anything against tt, BUT COULD YOU PLEASE TALK CALMLY OR TIE YOUR HAIR UP.

ok, and now I got to rush out. I shall blog about happier things when I come back.

2007-05-16T12:42:00.000+08:00

I dunno what to blog about, but I thought I'll just leave a random note so that I dun appear lazy.

I am glad that my mum is off from work too from tue to thu. She brought me go eat "Ma la Guo" today and we are going shopping tml. I saw a super nice dress at Topshop today at a reasonable price. But the bad thing about going out with ur mum is that she will think it is overpriced and refused to let you buy it. Suddenly I hope that she would be working tml so that I can sneak back to Bugis to get the dress. Yee!!!

And the love of father...

HWA CHONG INSTITUTION STUDENT'S FATHER KNEEL DOWN TO BEG FOR FORGIVENESS FROM A BUS-DRIVER WHO HAD BEEN BEATEN UP BY HIS SON.

While some may think that this is an instance of "Spare the rod and spoil the child" I think that the father is super wei da. I can only imagine a mother doing this for her child, but not a big man. And this so reminded me of wy's father who cried so much when she left for Aussie.

Fathers, arent they supposed to take care and ensure the well-being of the family?

2007-05-12T07:05:00.000+08:00

this is a bad week, I lost a lot of income right after I was done with the stress of multi-tasking. Blahzz!!! I am off again next week due to the overseas matters of the two bosses. ARGHZZ!!! Who's going to sponsor my hols in July and yoga in June??? *hintzz hintzz*

And I had thought out my activities for next week.

Mon - clear my study room and tentatively jogging.
Tue - with my mum eat ma la huo guo
Wed - tentatively go library and clean window
Thu - Jogging and maybe read story book or watch VCDs
Fri - Watch VCDs and maybe jogging and wait for Piggie

Ok, how fun can life gets when my friends are working and schooling and I am so super free. Blahzz!!! Bored~~ Date me date me!!!

2007-05-08T12:58:00.000+08:00

The usual crazy me, once I start blogging i started to blog a few in one row, then i will go stagnant again.

Big big decision made. Yee!!! Good for me.

Last day of exam tml!!! Double Yee!!!!

I got my pathetic paycheck!!! Booohoo!!!

And my slimming regime starts tomorrow. little rice and meat and jogging 3 to 4 time a week. Ya right see how long I can keep to it.

I am getting so like lingling, fat and chubby.

This is so random...going back to mugging now...Boo!!!

2007-05-08T01:15:00.000+08:00

I just have to blog about this, now that I remember it.

next time if you see a long queue at the 4D-counter, and you just know that another 2 min spent getting the paper and shading it will give you an even longer queue, this is what you can do.

Me: auntie, I want 0000, 2 big 3 small.
Auntie: (stunned) But you had to give me the paper ger.
Me: (bewildered look) Issssiiiitttt????
Auntie: Ya, if not later we key wrongly.
Me: (pitiful look)Huh~~ ok lo~~~
Auntie: ai ya, this time never mind la, nevxt time remember to write down k?
Me: (grinning) Hehe~~thanks you!!!

2007-05-07T02:42:00.000+08:00

I cant wait for 8th May to come. It's the last day of my exam!!! Feeling depressed when kq msg me and I am still busy mugging.

A lot of things had been weighing down on me recently, and I cant slp at night. exam, TP, future, results, work and some other stuffs that I know I should not bother about, yet I cant help it.

Ever thought of something that you feared and your heart started racing and you cant slp. As the days passed, I am fearing more and more. Though I know it's no big deal, but the burden just keeps on weighing on me.

I hope I can escape from everything, from the reality of tests, results and proving myself, I fear, that all that care for me will leave me one after another.

And, I wish I could be in ur arms.

I LOVE SHIRLEEN

2007-04-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

I was alone in the office after six because comeone needed to go back early and passed me a lot of what he was doing!!!

At six, he decided to go home, leaving me all alone in the pre-war house. Just as I was on the verge of breaking down...I recieved a call!!!

And it's from SHIRLEEN LEOW!!! Yee!!! And she bought me cheesecake and chix pie to cheer me up....HOW SWEET!!! Dun you just love her!!! Yee!!! And this is thefirst time I tried the famous chix pie from my workplace there. I never got the chance to go buy it!!! And it's awesome!!!!

Oh gosh, I'm sure to miss her when she gone...Love my gers so much!!! Muackzz!!!

2007-04-22T00:39:00.000+08:00

How I wish I can go shopping now!!!

I just wanna buy something, anything!!!

I think retail therapy really works for me when I'm freaking super stressed up!!!

Mum said that having $$$ bring discomfort to me.

I thought that is not true at all. it is just a little reward for myself for working so hard these few days. I feel so sad and unappreciated at work, so I thought I could do with some pampering myself.

Ok, I've decided. it's threading and shopping at northpoint later, all by myself.

2007-04-17T14:05:00.000+08:00

If I die tml, I'll do so with no regrets.

1) I had loved so truly and deeply.
2) I was loved in the same way too.
3) I had friends whom I know will remember me.
4) And I had family that cares and loves me!!!

My PIGGIE IS SO SWEET!!! Muackzz!!!

Look at these!!!

He actually went to queue for 3 hours to get these for me!!! How I love him!!! And it taste really good when it's warm!!! I hope Kq wil not leave it till tml morning!!!

And, ya, he just brightened up my bluish monday!!! Yee!!!
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And some photos taken long ago, I just managed to found my software to upload the pic!!!

I found this at home...

And on the way to mt's chalet, shirl and me spotted this interesting paperbag - "do you know when the first paper bag is invented?"

And shirl's I-LOVE-YOU Pressie for me!!!

And The pair who slept together at night, one snored and one refused to help me get the other one to stop snoring.

2007-04-15T03:36:00.000+08:00

Boring weekend, I am at home, doing my revision.

Work sucks now, now that Mic is gone!!! I hope that the overpaid will be fine.

And I'm alone at work on mon with never ending to-do list.

I cant see Piggie for a long long time cos of SAF's poor planning and organization. Seriously, I think they have zero welfare for their stuffs.

And news reported NSF will have $50 bucks increase from July. As if it made any difference to their peanut pay.

Ok, I am getting grumpy, being at home make me feel SIANZZZ!!!

2007-04-12T13:27:00.000+08:00

Cool, I got 2 weeks before my exam and here I am just finished one lecture of one module. But I'm glad that it's one long long long chapter.

Meiting finally joined Wanting and Pauline in the adulthood. Been so busy enjoying chalet and working that it just dawned on me how near the exam is.

I saw an article on Stephanie Sun today, she had been in the industry for 7 years and I realised how fast time had passed. I remember that she first started when I first got to know my C9 and memories of how obsessed Yan was with her just amused me. Yee!!!

Reminiscing the good old days make me feel old and weary. Miss those carefree life when we could just have silly quarrels and be friends again the next day. Those days where gers tried to win the shortest skirt competition and guys think long fringe in center partings were cool.

And how the group of us just kept getting smaller. I miss crazy times in chalets.

And I wish I could fly somewhere too.

At least I'm missed instead of missing.

2007-04-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

And Finally,

I am awake enough to feel the pain.

I wonder how many times must you play me out.

Heartbroken and lost.

2007-04-04T01:20:00.000+08:00

I love lazy mornings like today's!!! Yee!!!

But I will be an even happier ger if I dun have to sch this afternoon!!!

I seemed to have weird dreams at night that put me into a weird sleeping position.

And I am suffering from backache now!!!

And I miss my Piggie so much, I hope he can buy me the nice nice doughnuts from raffles city that I had longed to taste for so long!!!

2007-04-02T00:22:00.000+08:00

Happy April Fool Day!!! I had finally cleared more than my part of the project and here I am, a nice sunday burnt yet again by going to "shao-mu-ing". but it's not half as bad as being stucked at home editing people's parts.

From tml onwards, project "get together" will be in place so that I can put myself back to a decent state after the torment that I had gone through the past 2 weeks.

Firstly, I think I need to trim my eyebrows and my fringe that's in a mess. Then I'm going to slp more to get rid of those cracking lips and eyebags!!! And I need to eat more healthly to ger rid of those "stress relief" junks that I had eaten.

Hopefully I will be pretty on Meiting's birthday party!!! Yee!!! So excited. I miss my babes so much!!!

2007-03-29T04:40:00.000+08:00

My greatest fear - failure.

I realised how hard it bruised me. I realised that countless time that I ran away from challenges just so that I can avoid failure.

Though no one is putting me down, I can feel the stress that it's bringing me. I am always eager to do things right, eager to win. And so far I had not encountered anything that I had not conquered smoothly. Even my physics in sec sch, I managed to get a C6 even the countless "F" that I've gotten.

I still remember when I got the last position in class when I was in Sec 1. It was a blow for me. I almost forgot about that kind of feeling till I failed my driving test the 2nd time.

I told my mum how I dun like failing. She told me that if everything goes on so well for me, I wouldnt be able to overcome the even more major failures that I might encounter in the future. Learning to stand up from the small failures now will teach me how to managed even more troublesome challenges in the future. Every failure is a learning experience.

It's when I suddenly feel that my mum is an observant and tough woman who loves me in a different way. She might not knows me much as I had grown to become a big ger than she can no longer understand my actions and thoughts. But at the very least, she tried to know me more by hearing about my stories and happenings which she cant make any sense about.

But one thing she knew best, she understand how I hate failing and losing to others that I deemed more inferior than me, how I wanted an edge over others I felt was better than me in any aspect. She told me this is one thing that I had not changed since I was born and that's what she worried most about me.

I guess it's time that I face up with my fear and make it a positive experience. It's time I give myself a break.

2007-03-26T11:10:00.000+08:00

I think I am suffering from seafood allergy after 2 consecutive days of oyster omelette. Rashes on my wrist and fat tummy and feet. Itching me to death. And I think I am feeling all hot and feverish.

Shit!!! And I am having a presentation tml!!!

And just for a sweet ger...

"But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone"

Though we're not exactly far apart, it's just Ocean Tower and Nankin Row.

2007-03-23T03:46:00.000+08:00

I hate it when ppl dun reply to SMS-es!!!

It makes me wonder why I even think of them.

2007-03-17T12:34:00.000+08:00

"Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day,I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through"

I cant remember when I started to be so dependent on you. I had always told myself not to be unable to live without anyone in my life anymore. But now, I cant even imagine life without you. I teared myself silly thinking of all the possible disasters you might had met with, just because you did not call as you promised to.

I then realised that I NEED YOU.

2007-03-15T04:55:00.000+08:00

random thoughts....

if someone flunked all his test but he still earn a lot of money, will you still call him good-for-nothing???

if someone becomes a millionaire through illegal means, would you still say that he's great???

if he did something bad to earn money to feed 6 mouths, is he still a bad guy???

if a party offer incentives to ppl who help them spread positive words-of-mouth, is it still as good as it seemed???

if an engineer reported a problem that might cause a ship to sink but was ignored, is he free of responsibility when the ship sank???

if a widowed mother sells her body to feed her only son, is she a good mother or a loose woman???

if her parents refused to help her to tide over the period, is she unworthy of them, or are they unworthy of her???

See!!! The world is so confusing. It's full of grey areas. Too much ethics had gotten into me!!!

2007-03-11T14:51:00.000+08:00

Went out for dinner with shir and shao after work yesterday. Brought them to the "yi la er la" mian near my workplace and I woke up this morning with a tummy upset. The chemistry between chillies and ice-cream!!! Argh!!! But thinking back, should had taken down shao's look when he was struggling with his "si la"!!! *Evilzz*

Ice-Cream Time!!!

Went shopping at Pearl Centre after dinner and guess what!!! I got a super nice bag for 19 bucks!!! Yee!!!

But guess what!!! I spilled coffee on it when I brought it to sch this morning and my bag was wide opened then, and the coffee went into the leopard prints canvas inside the bag....ARGHZZ!!!! Shirl you can laugh at me. Blahzz!!!

And Introducing my cousin Justin!!!

2007-03-08T15:38:00.000+08:00

I managed to do it!!! Cleared lotsa my project today!!! Yippee!!! I am left with 2. But i am expecting a third one to come in tml. Never mind, I shall just indulge myself in the sense of self-satisfaction, just for the rest pf the night. Yee!!!

The weather had been bad today, with the stress coming all together, some of my friends had fallen ill. I am feeling a bit unwell today, hope I'll be better tml. And I seriously think that the my birth characters clashed with the new office, cos my immune system has been giving way since we moved in last December.

I need to take out some times to think about my future and prospect since I need to start slogging after this year. And the fear and sian-ness is overwhelming me. I cant imagine the playful and unstable me sticking to a REAL job!!!

And I love Shirl, Meiting, Kaiqi, Wenyan, Angeline, Pauline, Wanting and Cai Wen. Though some are away and some had gone into hibernation.

A random blog. My exam is in April and my project are all due this month or next. I am going to bish-bish-bomb sooner than expected!!!!

2007-02-26T12:06:00.000+08:00

Today is 25th Feb 2007 and the 8th day of the 1st lunar month. Though I had told mum and Shirl, I decided to blog it down so that I will never forget this day.

I realised something today.

In today's Singapore, you cant live without something very important.

Especially in Sembawang, you better be hugging tight to your cellphones. I learnt my lesson that hard way.

My mum made me go out to buy two boxes of the honey red dates for her today. NTUC ran out of stock and only carry this EGO brand with a sweet and candy like packaging.

As a careful person as I always am, i decided to call her on a public phone cos I left my HP at home for charging.

I went to the first floor and realised that the 2 phones'keypad was punched in and cant be used.

I decided to try my luck at the basement, and 2 China bugger was using it. One of them finally decided to leave after I queued up for 5 min. And guess what, he damaged the phone!!! The stupid phone not only refused to let me make a call, it even ate up the 10-cent that I had put in.

I look at the other bugger using the phone, he was acting like a lovestruck shit smiling till you cant see his eyes and kept putting more coins in. Forget it man, I decided to try my luck at the 2nd floor.

Went to Aries and bought a pair of earrings, hoping that I can borrow their phone, and they told me that their phone's not for lending. I was pretty pissed by then and was cursing within me.

Luckily I bumped into my friend and happily he offered to lend me his phone...and guess what!!!!
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My father's phone no is 9xxxx3xx. And this nice uncle was using a retro 3310. His "3" keypad was spoiled!!!!!

This is my super sway day.

I made one last attempt at the 2nd floor public phone. And it looked all fine and I can happily put my coin in and my mum answered the call. Guess what!!!
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I realised that the speaker wire was damaged and my mum could not hear anything on my side!!!!

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

I hereby swear that I will change my name if I dun bring my HP to Sunplaza the next time I go there!!!!

2007-02-13T15:07:00.000+08:00

All of the sudden remember my bloggie. Yee!!! I haven been updating for quite a while le.

But anyway, the last couple of weeks was pretty busy for me. And I got a bad news for myself!!! I cant wear nice nice shoe for new year, cos my right leg toe bone is poking out from my feet. I think it's the result of long hours of unhealthy shoes on Tue which sent me into a limping frenzy since last thursday, And I cant walk for more than 2 minutes without feeling the excruciating pain. Till sun, the timing increased to 30 minutes. And I can only wear my red sandal with all of my outfits.

I think it's time we should heed the advice of Hu Wen Yan!!!

And I am starting to think that my company is so adorable. I am not sure, but I think they waited for me to go back work before going to that "annual closing lunch".
Or maybe it's just a coincidence.

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I told my mum that I think I am ready for marriage but not for pregnancy. And she said that if I am not thinking of getting pregnant right after marriage, i should not get married. Well, her logic!!!

Just some random blogging to show that I am alive!!! Yee!!!

Chinese New Year is Coming!!!

2007-02-01T05:30:00.000+08:00

After more than a month of chaos and buzzes, I've finally found the time to fall sick. Woke up feeling slightly feverish and flu-ish and coughy this morning. Now I finally know what it means to be "busy till no time to fall sick" le.

Managed to wake up at 10 this morning to complete my project. I cant remember when was the last time I woke up at this hour. the rest-deprived me, finally gave in le ba.

I got free times, and my mind started to run through lots of things. And know what, I came to a conclusion what a definition of a "failure" is. Your life is all messed up and you cant command any respect from anyone, including your loved ones. Everyone shunned you. That's a FAILURE.

I guess the flu bug is making me emo. I miss times when i could just laze around and slack.

2007-01-29T09:41:00.000+08:00

I guess this weekend was just not a L-O-V-E one.

Went for a drink with the gers and everyone was not really perky, seemed so pre-occupied over their problems. Well, next week will be a better one, I hope.

I want feeling so good myself. Feeling so neglected and unloved. Sick, he said, well, maybe it's true. Maybe I'm being unreasonable here cos I was just too pampered with attention all these while.

But you just cant give someone more than the attention that she needed and treat her like a nobody the next moment. I wished I will fall sick now, so that I can have an excuse to ignore and hurt everyone who loves me.

This weekend just sucks! And yes, it our anniversary.

2007-01-25T13:21:00.000+08:00

We brought up the topic of hair patting yesterday, and it so reminded me of you.

How you ran thru my hair when we were in our own world.
How you stroke my hair when my head was on ur lap.
How you patted my hair when you gave me a peck on my forehead.

How I wished the tunnel that they used to delivered food in Tekong was constructed from my room to your bunk. And we can meet in the middle of the tunnel every night.

I missed you more than ever last night.

2007-01-18T23:17:00.001+08:00

This is a busy week for me. While my dear Piggie is enjoying himself in the jungle with his long distance cousins, I am enjoying myself working and studying and meeting my friends!!! Yee!!! The four days without him had not been unbearable, except for the lonely nights. FINALLY TML HE WILL BE BACK!!! Yippee!!!

I had been spending time with Shirl this week and we talked about alot of things. I realised how scary this world can be. You can never believe that you know someone well, unless they are your family. It is hurtful, knowing that one you treated as a friend, cared for, is nothing but a hypocrite.

Even if you really know someone well, they will change to become someone that you dun recognise any longer. You cant help but feel puzzled about their change, yet, all you did were to find excuses after excuses for yourself to counter-attack that helplessness and frustrations that were getting out of control.

Ya, it's true, nothing is constant except changes.

But I think there is one group that is special. They are detestable, buggish and irritating!!! But you cant help but love them so much.

Is there such a person in your mind? I have my sister.

2007-01-13T07:10:00.000+08:00

Yee!!! I am going to Pauline's chalet later!!! Her 21st birthday celebration.

Shall blog a bit before I go.

ya, I think I better give D8 testi before January pass.

Should I put in dear Piggie??? He used to be so san ba, wanna join D8 to know more info.ok, I shall put him in last. Start with Dianna first, cos she was pretty keen on it. Yee!!!

Smile, I guess it wasa tough 2006 for you, esp after leaving NYP. But friends don't come and go. They might not be in contact often, or might not talk to each other often. But they will be there when you need them. But I'm glad you've found ur Mr Right. Muackzzz!!! Love ya!!!

Serene, I know life isnt always fair. But it's all these injustices that mould you into a more forgiving and tougher person. I miss you my dear alabu. I wanna see you happy. And I hope that you had found the one that can bring smiles to you!!! Good luck to your work in Esplanade as well. Muackzz!!!

Hua, You are the one who had changed the most ba. But you are still a great and considerate friend. The change in you will enable you to pretect urself better. I thought you were awesome, juggling Bongo, school and work. But dun wear yourself out k? the most important thing in life is to be happy.

Dione, Glad that things had been smooth for you, job, relationship, family etc etc. Blur blur sotong sotong de, still so lucky. Treasure what you have k? muackzz!!!

Wenz, Haven met you for a long long time. Missed you for the birthday dinner long long time ago and the last time I saw you was when we were at ur chalet ba. that's like 4 month ago!!! Glad that you had decided to pursue a job that you are interested in. Stay happy k?

My dearest Piggie,
Thank you for everything,
I love you.

2007-01-10T21:41:00.000+08:00

I got this quiz from serene's blog and I thought it was pretty accurate:

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
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I thought I needed a change, so I got myself a new and shocking hairstyle. I think it does not look so nice now, cos there is no color. I am waiting for my hair to take a rest from chemical before highlighting it.

That's Mic, my work friend!!! She just cut her hair super short too. I think I got influenced by her to pluck up my courage to have a short haircut too. I am hoping that it will be natural fast fast!!! It will take about 2 weeks. Meanwhile I have to live with my super big and round face. Argh!!!
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Meanwhile, dear friends, I am sorrie that such a silly thought actually passed through my mind. I am well and recovering. Sorted alot of things out. Love you guys!!!

2007-01-08T01:59:00.000+08:00

I am mentally exhausted, I tried to be a good gerfriend, a good daughter. But it seems that no one really appreciates it. I tried to think of my loved ones first, but only end up to have them hurt me again and again.

To her, I am just a lazy leech and an object of comparison to everybody else.

To him, I am just a demanding and inconsiderate girlfriend, who never spared a thought for his feeling.

My heart sank so deep last night that I dun think I can ever get it alive again. Really feel like isolating myself from everyone and every body. Thoughts of joining Andrew seem so tempting.

2007-01-04T08:14:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!!! Though my greetings came a bit late, it's still a heartfelt one. Yee!!! Trust me.

I spent New Year Eve differently this year and stepped into the 2007 spraying the canned snow thingy (dunno what it's called, oh ya, streamers, and watching a group of boys throwing ice cubes at one another. It was pretty fun though I was a teeny weeny bit out of place cos it's hard to find a place to chill.

New Year Day, I was totally drained out cos I did not slp much after the countdown, plus a bit of dehydration and I gotta entertain my parents right after I reached home to join my relatives at their routine boring Sembawang Park gathering. ARgh!!! Imagine how glad I was when I managed to leave the mosquitoes-infested place and joing the gers.

Had steamboat feast at kq's place with c9, missing Caiwen and it was a rare occasion when you see a quiet Kai Lin. Pauline painted my nails a bright red for me which I kinda liked it, till I realised that the red is making me rather hot-tempered (or maybe it's the lack of slp), so I decided to remove it. To think that I even top-coated it when I got home. Blahzzz!!!

Recently my life is rather mundane nowadays, I shall blog msges to my dear D8 for the next few blogs. Yee!!! Muackzz!!! look out for your names!!! Love all!!!

I am risking not having a blanket tonight cos the sun's not out and my mum just washed it!!! Phew!!!

2006-12-31T16:18:00.000+08:00

The new year is approaching soon. And it's a good chance to start everthing all over again. This had had been a long long year for me. Thinking back, look at this list,

1)I've graduated from NYP.
2)I've worked in Bossini...
3)And quit after 3 weeks.
4)I went back to Bata and work...
5)I made a few new friends.
6)I lost a friend.
7)My whole family went for a holiday without me.
8)I went into SIM
9)Piggie went to NS...
10)I took up driving lessons...
11)And I failed my TP.

And there's many many more. Everything that happened in this year especially, made me grow up a lot a lot. I've done silly things in a heat of a moment. I've hurted many ppl. I've taken a lot for things for granted. I've been backstabbed in sch...etc. The things that happened seemed so far away, yet when i recall, it's just a few months ago.

The most important thing is that, I've sorted out my thinking and the faced the fact that, THINGS ARE OVER. It's good that I finally took the first approach. Having done that makes me certain that I only miss you as a friend. Cos I dun feel hurt or pain at all, when you broke the news to me. But it had taken a bit too long for me to realise that. Well, better late than never. I wish you good, I wish you the best.

I've no resolution for the new year. I just want everyone around me to be fine and troublefree for the new year. 2006, an exhausting year for me. I shall put them all away and begin 2007 on a clean page.

2006-12-29T11:34:00.000+08:00

Had an interesting conversation with my mum today.

Me: Cat used to be Tiger's shi fu, till one day Tiger tried to eat Cat. Luckily Cat did not teach Tiger how to climb a tree, so Cat managed to escape.

Mum: Do you know why Mouse so scared of Cat?

Me: No, why?

Mum: Cos last time Cat asked Mouse to wake her up to join the 12 zodiac sign, but Mouse chiong first without her.

All these coming from a coming 39-year-old woman. Now you know where the craziness came from.

And ya, I failed my TP, badly, shan't disclose the demerit point here, a clue here, it's nowhere near 20.

And I am missing you so.

2006-12-15T14:17:00.000+08:00

I am so super happy!!! I finally went to Sentosa!!! Yippee!!! lalala...finally plenty of photos to post le. Yee!!!

On the way there, on the bus to Underwater World!!! Happy and Energetic!!!

Some fishes at Underwater World~~ Piggie took all these pic...

Waiting for dolphin show to start~~~ Bored!!!

Musical Fountain~~~ missed a bit of it cos we were late trying to find our way there!!!

And finally it's going home time...tired but satisfied!!!

It's amazing!!! We spent only like less than 50 bucks and we can spend the whole day there from afternoon to night!!! Went to Siloso too...and the school hols crowd was really bad. Without the monorail, it seemed so troublesome and complicated to travel ard. Argh!!! I still miss the monorail!!!

Took video too, but too much noise in the bg. Decided not to post up. I love my Piggie so much cos he brought me to Sentosa!!!

And ya,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIRLEEN LEOW!!!

2006-12-13T14:22:00.000+08:00

Another one week had passed. It's amazing how much things can fit into a short one week. Piggie's POP, Angel's birthday, Yan's return to Singapore and I just checked my hotmail after one month of neglecting it. 129 new mail. Amazing, most of which were junk mail. One was a surprise, which contained just a sentence though.

Celebrated Angel's birthday on the 8th with her treat to a simple but super filling meal. We wasted a lot of food. But I was glad that I've finally made a nice nice card for her instead of the previous one which showed nothing but a lack of creativity. Cant join them for the clubbing session though, cos I was still recovering from my flu and cough and mom won't let me out.

Yan return from Aussie looking more radiant than ever, and I love her tan! It was a healthy bronze tan, and she had toned up her body.

Piggie got his block leave from last wed. And I am enjoying moments with him. Did not go to sentosa as planned. But I believe he will bring me there, sooner or later. But Singapore's tourists' attraction might be just too expensive. To thoroughly enjoy your trip, you can just go for a getaway to a nearby island.

Silly dreams had been coming onto me recently and impractical thoughts had been passing through my mind. What if... and what if... but nothing that I thought about will come true. I hope for it, yet I fear that it will happen at the same time.

Emo week happens every month. And, it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I guess.

2006-12-05T12:40:00.000+08:00

A Great day that I am feeling good about myself...

I know I'm loved, therefore I will not blame ppl for putting me down cos they are unloved and insecure.

I am who I am, and I will not lose myself just because you said I am fat and ugly.

I am living life to the fullest in my view therefore I will not stop being noisy.

I may not have the whole world but my little world can overcome every obstacles in my life.

I lived for myself but will never hurt others at the expense of making myself happy.

I love making a fool out of myself with my friends, so sue me if you can.

I am learning to accept love graciously and to put away thoughts that will hurt myself.

I am confident because you love me for who I am and what I might become.

2006-12-04T14:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY SERENE SEOW KE XIN!!!
Hope you really love the pressie!!!

Yucks!!! I am down with a bad flu after my sister's and my mum's and my dad's!!! See how evil that ger is, making the whole family victims of her virus!!! Blahzzz!!! And the thing is that she has good immune system so she recovered fast. i dunno how long I'm going to stay with this flu. Blahzzz!!!

I am a happy ger this weekend, time flies when I'm together with Piggie. Come Saturday then Sunday, then it's time for book in le. Blahzzz!!! But Yippee!!!! He is POP-ing on Wed!!! Yee!!! He will then have more than a week off, and we can go sentosa and night safari (*praying hard it wont rain*).

December is finally here, looking forward to the day when C9 will be united again!!! I miss those times!!!

2006-11-28T13:01:00.000+08:00

I am officially 20!!! Yippee!!! I dun have any pic, I am sorrie for those who wanted any. But I had a great time though. Though it was a simple birthday celebration, nothing extravagant. I thought it was the best that I ever did have in my life.

25th November 2006,
it was a rainy day. Piggie booked out at 3 plus. Was supposed to go to Night Safari. But there was a change of plan cos we reckoned they wouldnt be any animal except mosquitoes should we go according to the plan. A bit disappointed, cos the sun was shining so brightly in the morning.

Went to City Hall instead, had a simple dinner at Billy Bombers'. As luck could have it, we were led to the big sofa seat table, the only one in the whole restaurant. The service is pretty good, or maybe my mood was pretty. I thought the evening was perfect though I was dressed in what I was going to be in for Night Safari without makeups or anything. Went Carrefour where Piggie bought lotsa stuffs for himself and for my family!!! And we rushed home to put the stuffs before heading to Sunplaza to catch midnight's "Happy Feet".

I felt so loved when he whispered "Happy Birthday" into my ears when it struck 12. Even though I wasnt appreciative that he just scolded me to stop kicking the seat in infront at 11.58pm. Blahzzz!!!

26th November 2006
Whatever it might be, I got "mian xian" and red eggs for breakfast. My mum was lazy to cook the "mian xian" for me, so he got Piggie to buy for me. Blahzz!!! But it was nicer that she could cook. Yee!!!

Went to The Garlic Restaurant at Esplanade. The food there is not bad, but the service can be better. I miss it, those times when there were so many of us ard. I miss sec sch life. And I was so touched when some of those gers made those cards for me. I made one for shir too, it looks...ermmm...ya, handmade!!! Yee!!!

I am happy just seeing so many ppl ard. Got chocolates from Shir. Looked so nice that I cant bear to eat it. Yee!!!

Recieved lotsa of msges from friends. And a lot of surprises and disappointment. Some I didn't expect would remember, sent me a wishing. Some that I was waiting for their wishings...maybe they were busy ba.

No matter what, it was still a wonderful birthday for me. I guess I should stop having that birthday mood!!! Tml I am starting work again!!! Argh!!! My tentative timetable is out. Argh!!! School on Saturdays!!! Blahzz!!!

2006-11-25T15:15:00.000+08:00

I am becoming more and more of a lazy blogger, no more blogging as frequently as before. You cant blame me though. Birds of the same feather flock together. And I had been busy, with work and my dad had been hogging the com in his attempt to complete this very tough stage of his game. I barely got the chance to touch the com.

Yeah!!! By the way, for those who had forgotten...my birthday is coming!!! Yippee!!! Going to have an advanced celebration with Piggie tml. Going to Night Safari!!! Hopefully he can book out in time to meet Hua so that we can get some discount and have dinner at Bongo. I kept hearing that place but I never had the chance to eat there before. Yippee!!! Night Safari!!!

So into Kelly Clarkson's and Carrie Underwood's nowadays. I dunno why, felt so much for their songs. Not exactly happy this week. But I know things will get better soon. When you believe in it, it will happen.

2006-11-20T15:58:00.000+08:00

It had been a long long time. Had been really busy for the past 2 weeks that I had not blogged.

Few things to announce!!! In no particular order,

1) Angeline is back!!!
We went to Ajisen for dinner today and I had a crazy and great time. I dunno abt them though. Yee!!! I thought they were a teeny weeny bit taken back by me.

2) Yihua and Dianna and Yan Rong just turned 21!!!
Yee!!! They are adults le, can get married le. Hope they had a good day. Had dinner with them at Sketches the other day. Bad and yucky experience. Forgotten to tell C9 about it. I dun wanna blog here cos they had given really good service that last few times I was there. i thought they deserved another chance.

3) I am moving office SOON!!!
Going to work at China Square Central from tue onwards. A lot of nice food to eat. Mic brought me to go eat this "yi la, er la, si la, liu la, ba la" mian which is super nice. I thought the ramen was nicer than Ajisen's. For those who dunno what I am talking abt, ask me abt it the next time we meet. And ya, some guys can be so yucky. And I mean those EDUCATED and SUPPOSINGLY well-bred "men".

4) I hit someone on the train.
This pea brain ungentleman faggot shoved me when he was boarding the train. I used mt big bag to hit him. He looked at me, TOTALLY STUNNED. And I shouted at him, "You should had said excuse me RIGHT?" And he gave me an obliging apology. I dun mean to make a fool out of myself. But I cant stand shitheads like this. Whatever~~ Guys nowadays!!!

5) I went to Vivocity with shir and mt the other day!"
And it's really packed!!! And it's a place for window shopping unless you have plenty of moo-lahs!!! And mt got a new spect which she wore to Ajisen today. It looks great on her, as long as you dun spot the secret. Humpphh~~

6) Yan is coming back on the 7th of Dec.
Yippee!!! We will be one big happy family soon!!! Cant wait for 7th Dec!!!

Last but not least, my birthday is coming!!! Going to Night Safari next Sat evening with Piggie and dinner with C9 on Sun!!! I hope thins will go according to plan. After having a yucky 19th birthday, I really wish for a good 20th birthday this year. * Praying hard*

A long long blog finally, going to slp le. Yawnzz!!! So tired...

2006-11-08T15:30:00.000+08:00

I dunno why, but my tears just fell as I poured out the unhappiness that I had felt for the past 2 months. It wasnt intentional to cause your guilt. I just hope that I can be more important sometimes.

They are not the only ones who misses you. I miss you too. A lot a lot. More than you ever imagine.

2006-11-02T07:34:00.000+08:00

I am tired from studying the damn Market Research. ARgh!!! This is the first time I got a lousy lecturer, and I mean HOPELESSLY LOUSY!!! And the fact that there is no focus point for THIS paper make it such a disaster. I am so going to die Tomorrow. Blahzzz!!!!

It is raining so heavily now, I hope there will be no rain for 3 days starting from tml, so that Piggie will not be muddy and dirty for his field camp. So ya,rain all it can today and let it be a sunny Tekong for the next three day PLEASE!!!!

Ok, I am a bit bored, cos I have no life recently....Blahzz!!! Cant wait for the weekend to be here!!! Yee!!!

2006-10-30T14:04:00.000+08:00

A random blog.

To 2 friends, birds of the same feather flock together. That group of guys really know how to break hearts. I can survive it, so can you guys. Jia You!!!

And I just bought a new phone which is a great buy, thanks to the coupon that Starhub sent me. I guess you have to complain more so tt that company will do better. I came to that conclusion cos I'm the only one in the family who got the coupon and I'm the only one who always call 1633.

I am left with 2 papers. Yee!!! But there is this one paper out of these two that I feel I am so going to die in. I cant seems to cultivate any interest in tt module.

This is a bad weekend for love, I hope for a better one next week.

And I hope he will recover soon and well. Praying for him. I know good people will never get any worse than this.

2006-10-24T14:51:00.000+08:00

After a refreshing weekend, I'm back to my old self and all ready to face the challenges. I am really not someone who can spend days alone at home. Thanks all. And to Ritter Sport chocolates too.

Piggie finally booked out from camp on Friday afternoon. I missed him so much. Time slipped past so quicky, tml he will be booking in again. But it's ok. It's a fruitful long weekend.

Went shopping at town on Saturday, bought Piggie's parents' birthday present. Went shopping and I bought the Gio skinny capri for 20% off at Urban Warehouse!!! Oh my God!! I had been waiting for it to be on sales! Yippee!!!

Sunday is my Papa's birthday, went to Marina Bay with my family, and we had A LOT OF FOOD!!! Christopher(he's my younger godbro cum cousin)paid only 5 bucks and he ate more than me!!! Piggie bought Papa a chargeable battery-operated vaccum cleaner for him to clean his car. And my sis and I foot the bill for Marina Bay.

Just came home from some porridge meal at geylang with Piggie's family which cost a good 97.50 buck! The bill pulled me back from my weariness after work. WTH!!! I dun see how the porridge with sweet potato is different from the one my mum cooked. But his father seems to be more disappointed that the food is not as nice anymore rather than "xin tong" about the price. Yee!!!

That's it for my fruitful weekend. I experienced some thing during the weekend. I thought the world would be a better place if everyone were to spare a thought for everyone else. The least that could be done is not to be insensitive. I remember Kq telling me how some people dunno how to treasure friends. I thought what had happened was a bit more extreme than her situation. Why would anyone want to rub salt to a friend's wound? But, in any case, I am glad that my friends aint like this. Yippee!!!

This blog is so wordy. I wanna take lotsa pic!!!

2006-10-16T05:30:00.000+08:00

Feeling so alone. So stressed from all the studies. I dun understand why I feel so panicky. There is just one more module with more than a week to study for it. It's more than enough time. But I just feel so scared.

Without a support, without someone to lean on. It's just terrible.

The only thing that keeps me away from giving up, is the expensive school fees that SIM earned from me.

2006-10-14T02:34:00.000+08:00

I just weeped myself silly over an MTV which is more than 2 years old. Watch "Tong Hua" MTV on uTube just now. And I cried for a good 6 min.

Went to Joaquim just now with the gers to celebrate Kq's birthday. It had been a long time since we got everyone there le!!! Yee!!! I had a great time. After dinner went to Esplanade to chat a bit till we rushed to catch a train home. I miss them so much...cant remember when was the last time we sat down and chat le. now just waiting for Yan and Angel to come back and we will be a complete happy fmaily again!!! Yippee!!!

I realised that uTube is a great invention. I just heard a song that I've been dying to hear for a long and it's good to not only hear the song but hear the MTV as well. Yippee!!! Puff Diddy - I'll be Missing You. It's a nice song. And Janet Jackson - It Doesnt Really Matter. Yee!!!

Ok, after so much slacking, back to my mugging session le. Yee!!!

2006-10-13T02:08:00.000+08:00

Deleted the last post. Cos I dun wanna hurt anyone.

By the way, I guess this will make headline today...

England lost Croatia 2-0

Serve that Steve guy right for dropping this guy here.

How can he drop this guy. He's just too gorgeous and charismatic to not be in the England team!!! Blahzz!!! Wait and see Steve, you will be crying soon cos no one will wanna sponser England anything cos there is no Beckham!!!

I hereby announce that I will not be supporting England anymore till they put Beckham back to where he should be!!!

*And I just painted my nail for tonight's "pretty nails" cum kq's birthday's gathering. It looks ugly, cos I have really short nails now.

No matter what. this's for her!

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TO KAIQI!!!

2006-10-07T13:33:00.000+08:00

For once, I am envious of those who are safely tucked away in Aussie. The air in Singapore is just terrible. So bad that few people in my neighbourhood are celebrating Mid-Autumn Festival. Argh!!!

It is making my eyes sore and throat dry. Who ever caused the fire...YOU SUCKZ!!! It doesnt help that there is a fire in Sungei xxx today.

I just realised that my boss is earning so much $$. He owns a business, lecture at SMU and is the chairperson of some association. What else man!!! Should had asked for more $$ during interview...Argh!!!

By the way, I need to clarify, the company that I am working at is not a recruitment company. It is a outplacement company, meaning helping those who got retrenched find new job and go on with life. Sound so noble ya?? Yee!!! Not convenient to reveal the name of the company here cos next time I will have no place to bitch about it if I need to. But so far so good la. That only person who's always in the office with me is a nice lady.

Working there made me realise, how vulnerable a rice bowl is. It makes me feel that, actually my degree is just a pc of paper. I saw so many people who came into the office for a new hope. And they all holding a Masters and so much experience. I think I need to learn more things (get mroe cert) to secure a stable life in Singapore.

2006-10-04T12:34:00.000+08:00

I just started work at a recruitment company as a part time admin. the pay is quite good for a super flexible and easy job and there is only 4 person (including me) in the office. Good working environment, no bitches and politics.

I hope I can save enough for Aussie's trip.

I am a coward. I dun dare to slp alone when my sis went for camp. I got my dad to slp with me yesterday night and my mum tonight. I miss that brat!!!

I am so tired juggling projects, studying for exam, working and taking my damn expensive driving lesson.

I need to go jogging soon. I am getting flabby and temperamental again.

I got that stupid naggy instructor today. He only pass me one module. Pui!!!

Random updates on my hectic life.

2006-10-02T09:52:00.000+08:00

Piggie finally booked out over the weekend. This is the end of such a long week. Being with him. Just something I needed, to get rid of the sadness and guilt of losing someone. I would be lying if I say the whole matter did not have a deep impact on me.

If only I had not been so into my so called "principles" for the past few months.
If only I had been his good friend and talked to him more. So many "if only" thoughts came to my mind since tuesday. But there were just so many constraints which seemed so minute now. He had given me so much in the past and I have nothing or little to give him in return. Not even the chance to send him through his last journey.

Life, you can never expect anything to happen. He still lives inside my memory. And he taught me a precious lesson, to forgive and forget as much as you can.

2006-09-27T13:27:00.000+08:00

I just lost a friend. One that I did not talk to him for months cos of the mask he put on when he was with me. Or maybe, it's the other way round, the mask he did not put on when he was with me. But one who had always tried to please me and make me happy as far as he could.

It is always a wonder, how you can remember all the nice things about someone only after he's gone.

I remember him as someone who was always afraid that I would tire myself out, someone who spent tons of $$ in 7-11 just to get the badges for me, someone who cheered me up with chocolate when I'm down, someone who had always ensured my safety home after work, someone who fear that I would starve to death. And someone who had always remembered my birthday with or without a wishing.

To this friend of mine, I dunno why you chose to take this path. But be happy wherever you are, rest in peace.

2006-09-26T02:57:00.000+08:00

I had a strange dream last night. I dreamt that I was in NS with Piggie and the place was really nicely done up with part of the building delicated to a library and a CPF center and it was fully air-conditioned. Ok, I got to admit, this is a crazy dream. Whatever~~

Nothing much has happened recently. Except for drinking on Friday night with Piggie's friends and dinner on Sat and Sun. Shall not talked about dinner on Sat, not a good experience. Sunday had steamboat with my family and it was a bloody experience.

My mum accidentally brushed the corner of the cabinet door against my sis's backheel (the place where you got all ur blisters) and it started to bled quite a lot. the whole bit of skins/flesh was stucked on the edge.EeeWWW!!!! Imagine she was cryingo ut loud with agony when I pored that infamous "Qing Cao You" on her wound. Ouchzz!!! Reminds me of my elbow wound. ARgh!!!

But dun have to pity her, she's now off to "god knows where" again till late into the night. Blahz!!!

Got driving lesson later, I am so tired...after an event full weekend. this is going to be another long week before the weedend's here again...